A Crispy Tale
29th September 1995
Dear Sir,
I enclose the outside wrapper and two or three empty bags of Salted Crisps, batch number 5234 08W2, dated 18 Nov 95.
I am the coach of a school rowing crew that was training on Sunday, 10th September. (They later raced the 31 mile course from Lincoln to Boston - The Boston Marathon.)
While the crew was on the water (on a very wet, windy and cold day), I went to Sainsburys in Bath to get some lunch for the crew (four oarsmen, the cox, and myself - making six people in all). The bag of six packets of crisps was an ideal part of the lunch, partly because there were six packets, and partly because young oarsmen never tire of your crisps.
I got back to the windswept course just in time to help the crew off the water, and we all then retired to the dry minibus to get out of the pouring rain which was beating down so hard on the top roof of the bus that we could hardly hear ourselves speak, but there is little talking while food is going down. I opened the pack of crisps and handed them round, only to find that there were just FOUR packets instead of six! We hunted high and low, but that wasnt a difficult task because we were all confined in a small space and were hungry. In the end, the cox and myself went without so that the oarsmen (who had been working hard all morning) could be properly fed.
The last time I wrote to a crisps manufacturer was as a schoolboy some forty years ago. You may remember the little blue twists of salt that were put in the bags in those days. We were always delighted when we came across a soggy twist, because it meant that we could write and complain, hoping to be rewarded with free packets - or preferably boxes!
I enclose a copy of our latest newsletter for your interest. The next one will probably contain a note about crisps! Would you like to take out an advertisement?!
Yours faithfully,
Julian Bewick (Rowing coach and Secretary of Monkton Bluefrairs Boat Club)
October 5th 1995
Dear Mr Bewick
We write following your recent disappointment with our ready salted crisps and are very sorry to hear your sad tale and we hope your crew are now recovered from their wet outing and are ready to row to many more victories. All our products are packed at very high speed in fully automated and computerised systems which are carefully monitored by competent Quality Assurance staff. Normally this ensures that an individual pack or multi-bag comply (sic) with the on-pack declaration. However we must unfortunately acknowledge on this occasion that there has been an error in our packing procedures resulting in your discovery. The efficiency of the multi-bagging operation is such that it is most unusual for a bag to be a packet short let alone two. It is therefore very difficult to offer a conclusive explanation as to why your packets were missing. Thank you for enclosing a copy of your newsletter which has been passed around the office with interest and we would all now like to have a day messing about on the river, in fact we nearly had a mutiny on our hands. We are sorry this has happened, resulting in your concern and hope that you will accept our sincere apologies. We also hope the incident will not prevent your crews continued enjoyment of our crisps and indeed, that you might use the attached with our compliments. (A voucher was attached.)
Yours sincerely, ..
Consumer Services Supervisor
Notes from the Editor : I have sent a copy of this edition of the newsletter to the crisps manufacturer. I wonder if it might be possible to grant the wish for a day messing about on the river. . .