Tom Mildinhall was killed in action in Iraq on 28th May 2006.

Let me paint a picture of Tom. It will be just a sketch; not a school report, impressive though that might be.

Tom was talented academically; His persistence, hard work and efficiency were well known. But he always had time for other activities and for people, because he was not in the habit of wasting it.

After a false start reading medicine at Imperial, he took a gap year; then to Durham. It was typical of him that he chose not to stay in the academic tram lines laid out by others, preferring rather to go in his own direction.

He had an independence of spirit.

One of Tom's great loves was music, and in particular the big band, where he was a leading player. He always dressed flamboyantly when playing, and his music had the same splashes of colour and excitement as his dress.

But we can perhaps be grateful for another of his qualities - curiosity - for his music. Like all newcomers, he was shown round the music department when he arrived at school. On this visit, he declared that he was - 'never going to be seen down here again'. He described himself as a failed clarinettist (grade 3) and that he hated music and was giving up lessons. Not very promising on the face of it - but he obviously knew his mind.

Just before leaving the music school he happened to notice a rather large shiny instrument in one of the rooms and wanted to know what it was. It was a baritone saxophone. He asked if he could 'have a go' and immediately fell in love with it.

He went on to become a very able saxophonist as you will hear after this Service.

Tom was a sportsman, and in particular an oarsman. As a Fourteen year old, he rowed in the very first octuple sculls event at the Schools Head Race.

I remember watching from Hammersmith Bridge. Oarsmen amongst you will know the spot where I was standing to within a pace or two. The Daily Telegraph photographer, knew the same spot. He was there to take a photo of a 1st VIII no doubt - the equivalent here, I suppose, of taking a picture of Top Brass.

We got into conversation, and the result was that when the Monkton crew of 14-year-olds rowed under the bridge directly under our feet, on their way to victory, he took the photo which was printed in the paper the next day. It included Tom, John, Ben, Graham, Anthony and the others who became his friends till the day he died.

It may have been a rowing photo, but the important thing about it was that it illustrates friendships - and Tom was a friend to so many.

Tom didn't understand pain. Here is an extract from the Boat Club Log Book

Bluefrairs Head Race - 18th November

Tom screwed up his back in the morning race, rowing in a pair, but he still went in the four in the afternoon with instructions to row at 70%. But Tom being Tom went out at 100% to bring us in 1st in our class, and 2nd overall. But he screwed up his back even more.

Bravery is a precious quality, and perhaps this little incident illustrates bravery. But I don't think Tom had to put on bravery consciously like a badge.

There were things about him that were deeply engrained - never worn just for an occasion.

But it was Tom being Tom - and that made him very powerful indeed. His qualities were genuine, reliable and humble.

Tom enjoyed sharing through teaching.

He came across a young boy called Alex, and helped to teach him to row by going in a pair-oared boat with him. He reckoned that Alex would have to listen more and learn if he was to get anywhere.

Later, Tom was delighted that he had been the first help a future world champion on his way. Alex Partridge can't be here today because of training duty with the top crew in the GB rowing team in Poland; This congregation understands 'Duty' no doubt

But Alex did want me to say this:

I was fortunate enough to meet Tom at school. He was a real inspiration to me right from the moment I met him through the rowing club. He was the first person to show me how someone can push themselves to their absolute limits, both physically and mentally. Rowing with Tom at school I was able to see what being tough really was all about. Nt just in the bravado moments when all is going well and its easy to work hard because you're winning, But real toughness when the chips are down and you have to dig deep and it feels like there is no coming back. That's when he was at his best in my eyes, always with a smile on his face no matter what the result. I always wanted to emulate that and still try to today. Because of Tom's patience and enthusiasm, I was able to embark on the journey and career that I am still pursuing now. For that I will always thank him.

Tom had a streak of daring and adventure about him, and he thrived on physical challenges.

When his back problem was keeping him out of the school's top rowing crew, he remained committed and always went with them for training sessions, but he didn't just sit in the launch to watch.

He took his bike with him, and at the end of the session he cycled the 7 miles back to school - by no means a flat journey, giving Godfrey Bishop, the coach, driving a minibus, a good run for his money. Godfrey is not known as a slow driver. I don't think Tom ever beat them back home, but he always gave it a good try.

I have mentioned a newspaper photo of Tom rowing. Now his face has been in the papers again, but for a very different reason.

When I last saw him a few weeks ago we talked about the danger of his job. He had just returned from his first tour of duty which he had found exciting and interesting.

Iraq is just a picture on the television to the civilians amongst us. What was Tom doing there? I trust that some of us know the answer, (Please see me afterwards to explain, says the schoolmaster) But let Tom tell us what he was doing day by day.

This is from a letter he sent me during that duty:

Fifth of January

Just a short note to let you know how it's all going. I am based in southeast Iraq. Most of our work has been focused on teaching the Iraqis to run their own security agencies -- Port, border police, Customs etc etc. It is a massive job but has it interesting moments.

This part of Iraq has so far been reasonably free of the unrest leading up to the elections that has been experienced further to the north. The problem that the coalition faces is that any Iraqi with a grievance has a means with which to do something about it i.e. an assault rifle and 50 rounds that can be legally held in the home or workplace.

This, combined with complicated tribal allegiances and ill understood religious undertones, can mean that a situation can turn ugly very quickly. Mercifully the squadron hasn't experienced any of this yet (touch wood).

The locals are typically secular and moderate and any form of unrest is usually the result of foreign agitators or groups from other areas. The people we teach are eager to learn from us and take on the skills well, we can only hope that the corruption gets sorted out in the long run.

So there he was - teaching - serving - leading - Being Tom - just as he was at school a few short years ago.

Some of his old crew-mates have told me that he was more concerned before setting out for a second time, soon after a party they had watching the Boat Race together.

He was going into the front line to do reconnaissance, a task where you don't know where the next sniper is or the next bomb is hidden. He knew the dangers and accepted them.

To use Tom's words, It did turn ugly, and his young life was cruelly taken away by that roadside bomb.

Let us to remember his achievements independence curiosity bravery friendships Sense of adventure Commentment and loyalty

Let us remember Tom being Tom. Julian Bewick